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Social Anxiety in BPD: Overcoming & Building Confidence

Social anxiety can be a daunting challenge, causing overthinking and excessive worry about social situations. When combined with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), social anxiety can be amplified by emotional dysregulation, hypersensitivity to rejection, and fear of abandonment.

In this article, we delve into the relationship between BPD and social anxiety. It explores practical techniques, such as integrating BPD perspectives and strategies, to help individuals with BPD manage social anxiety, foster genuine connections, and empower themselves in social interactions.

Understanding Social Anxiety and BPD

Social anxiety often manifests in individuals with BPD due to hypersensitivity to perceived rejection and fear of abandonment. The intense fear of judgment and negative evaluation can trigger emotional dysregulation, leading to avoidance behaviors and isolation. Recognizing the connection between social anxiety and BPD allows us to approach these challenges with a deeper understanding and develop strategies to address both social anxiety and the underlying BPD symptoms.

When faced with social anxiety, our instinctive response is to analyze the situation and seek reassurance. The reassurance we seek comes from nonverbal cues, such as body language and tone. To overcome social anxiety, individuals with BPD can tap into their empathic abilities and seek reassurance through genuine connections with others. By focusing on genuine connections rather than solely seeking external validation, individuals with BPD can develop more sustainable strategies for managing social anxiety.

Addressing social anxiety involves more than cognitive strategies; it requires engaging our senses and altering our physiology. Animals use their full range of senses, including sight, hearing, and even smell, to feel comfortable in social situations. Individuals with BPD can adopt practical techniques that tap into these natural mechanisms to disable the circuits that trigger social anxiety. By expanding their perception and paying attention to sensory cues, individuals can reduce their anxiety response and navigate social interactions more confidently.

In the animal kingdom, communication takes place without the use of language or complex analysis. Animals rely on various brain circuits, such as social and empathic circuitry, to read body language, tone, and other nonverbal cues. By embracing nonverbal cues, body language, and tone, they can navigate social interactions with increased confidence because it disables their inner voice, which fuels social anxiety. This involves observing and understanding the signals and intentions of others, fostering genuine connections, and reducing anxiety-triggering thoughts. By adopting a more intuitive and empathic approach to communication, individuals can establish a stronger foundation for managing social anxiety.

Putting Social Techniques into Practice

To build confidence, it is helpful for individuals with BPD to practice these techniques in neutral social situations. By adopting a confident posture, making brief eye contact, and offering a smile, they can gradually desensitize themselves to social anxiety. Taking small steps and gradually exposing oneself to social situations can help individuals with BPD develop the skills and confidence needed to navigate social anxiety successfully.

Posture and Breathing Adjusting posture by standing up straight, rolling shoulders back, and breathing slowly with a focus on extended exhalation can significantly impact the physiological state. This simple exercise helps counteract the hunched posture associated with anxiety, reduces adrenaline levels, and promotes relaxation. For individuals with BPD, practicing mindful breathing can provide a grounding technique to regulate emotions and manage social anxiety.

Eye Contact Despite feeling uncomfortable, making brief periods of eye contact with others is crucial for activating the visual Association cortex, which processes visual stimuli and attaches meaning to them. By consciously engaging in eye contact for short intervals, individuals with BPD open themselves up to receive socially reassuring signals and strengthen their empathic circuits. It also allows for a deeper connection and understanding in social interactions. Incorporating eye contact into social interactions can help individuals with BPD overcome the anxiety associated with maintaining eye contact.

Smiling Smiling plays a vital role in social communication as it naturally triggers empathic mirroring. When individuals with BPD smile at others, they are more likely to receive smiles back, creating a positive feedback loop that relaxes them and provides reassurance. By practicing smiling in neutral social situations, individuals with BPD can gradually overcome the initial discomfort and enhance their social interactions. Smiling not only conveys warmth and openness but also helps individuals with BPD establish a more positive and relaxed atmosphere in social settings.


Overcoming social anxiety with Borderline Personality Disorder involves embracing empathy and authenticity. By engaging our senses, altering our physiology, and practicing new behaviors, individuals with BPD can navigate social interactions with confidence and foster genuine connections. Remember, social anxiety is not solely a psychological problem; it encompasses perception, physiology, and also the unique challenges of BPD. By integrating these techniques into daily life, individuals with BPD can empower themselves to overcome social anxiety and enjoy more fulfilling social interactions.

Frequently asked questions about BPD and social anxiety:

Can You Have BPD and Social Anxiety?

The answer is yes. It is possible for individuals to have both BPD and social anxiety. In fact, the presence of BPD can contribute to the development or exacerbation of social anxiety. Recognizing this comorbidity is crucial in addressing the unique needs of individuals who face both conditions simultaneously.

Is Social Anxiety a Symptom of BPD?

While social anxiety is not a direct symptom of BPD, it can be a common manifestation. BPD is characterized by emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and difficulties in interpersonal relationships, which can contribute to social anxiety. By acknowledging social anxiety as a potential symptom of BPD, individuals can seek appropriate support and implement targeted strategies to address both conditions.

Does BPD Cause Social Anxiety?

While BPD itself doesn't directly cause social anxiety, individuals with BPD are more prone to experiencing social anxiety due to their heightened emotional sensitivity and fear of rejection. The combination of BPD traits and social anxiety can intensify the challenges faced in social situations. Understanding this connection is essential in developing effective coping mechanisms.


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