Feeling of Emptiness Borderline Personality Disorder

Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder often experiences a chronic feeling of emptiness. You don't necessarily have to have BPD to experience this feeling. But if you do have BPD, feeling empty can be a big part of your life. Because emptiness can be devastating for many people, it's an important topic for treatment.

What emptiness feels like

If you think about it, everyone has felt somewhat empty before. You can experience this feeling yourself when you finish a movie, book, or show. After you are so invested in the story, it suddenly ends. Which gives you a numbing feeling that there is nothing left to do next. To feel empty, you do not necessarily have to lose something first. It can be a chronic feeling that makes you wonder why you feel that way.


It's hard to describe what emptiness exactly feels like since an empty feeling has no definition. It can be described as emotional numbness, having no sense of the future, not feeling any connections, or a lack of purpose. Since emptiness is a concept of a feeling, it can’t be attached to any emotion. Everyone experiences and describes their feeling of emptiness in their own way.


"Imagine being in a black hole, and you’re collapsing into yourself."

It appears that emptiness stems from a lack of something in your life, or it can be a coping mechanism. If certain emotions are too much to cope with, such as losing a loved one or a traumatic event, it gets replaced with an empty feeling. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms are more of a hindrance than a help.


Even when we have pleasant experiences, we may experience a sense of emptiness, which is exactly what makes it so difficult. Sometimes you're in the middle of something that should be fun, such as a friend's gathering, and you feel alone and empty inside. It feels as if no one meets your emotional needs. Even when everyone around you is nice to you, you feel nothing, which reinforces the feeling of emptiness and loneliness.


Many people also say that they can physically feel the feeling of emptiness. They describe a cold and hollow area in their chest.


BPD and emptiness

Emptiness is often associated with loneliness and having an inconsistent sense of self. We know that feeling empty can lead to depression and other negative conditions.


You might catch yourself looking for something to fill this feeling of emptiness. Sometimes finding a new hobby or a shift in jobs can make this feeling disappear, but soon after, the empty feeling comes back. It can feel like an endless search for nothing, which can be distressing.


It is also one of the reasons why someone with BPD gets obsessed when meeting a new potential partner. It may feel as if the individual completes the empty void. It makes the relationship short-lived because this feeling does not last very long.


It's not uncommon for individuals who are feeling empty to think about suicide or self-harm. Many people with a borderline personality disorder may use emptiness as a stimulant to engage in addictive activities.


Unfortunately, I cannot offer a solution to solve the feeling of emptiness. If you have BPD, this is often a chronic feeling. I know how hard it is to live with and I recommend seeking professional help whether you have BPD or not.