Reflecting on the past five years, 2023 marked a pivotal turning point for me—a year of profound change and growth. Amidst losses and victories, failures and laughter, love and tears, I've learned how to save myself. I became the hero of my own narrative. The challenges I faced taught me that true strength emerges not only in moments of triumph but also in the quiet resilience found in the aftermath of setbacks.
In 2024, I am going to become a better person—to further build upon my character and to keep evolving into the person I want to become.
I crawled my way out of depression, and along with that, the majority of the BPD symptoms that I've been struggling with for a solid 16 years have eased up. For all those years, I was confused with myself, with what I felt, with my thoughts, and my needs. Life felt purposeless. I had no confidence, and so I relied on other people to be able to feel good. I endured so much emotional pain that I stood on the brink numerous times, deliberating whether to give up. It wasn't until an extreme point was reached last year that I found solace. Everything started to fall into place, one thing after another. I've been on an upward trajectory for almost a full year now.
In my current improved mental state, I can now direct my energy toward personal growth instead of solely trying to survive. It's like this whole new level of confidence kicked in, and now I'm convinced there's pretty much nothing I can't do if I set my mind to something.
These are my resolutions for 2024:
• For the Woman Who Raised Me
I've come to recognize the sacrifices my mother made and continues to make for me. During the period of my long-lasting depression, not only did my thoughts revolve around myself, but my entire life was entangled in self-centeredness, which caused me not to appreciate the people around me. Lately, as I've emerged from that difficult chapter, I've been striving to be a better son. I aim to consistently give her more attention—whether it's through thoughtful conversations, sharing small moments, or surprising her with gestures that brighten her day. I want to take her out more often, bring joy to her life, see her smile, make her proud of my achievements, and, above all, be there for her because she deserves everything while she is still here.
• Chasing My Dream Beyond 9 to 5
Beyond the limits of my nine-to-five job, I'm on a relentless pursuit of a dream that has been a driving force in my life. After the office hours fade into the background, my commitment to this dream takes center stage. I will do whatever it takes to achieve what I've been longing for most of my life. I will manifest it until the end.
• Physical Strength and Discipline
I'm convinced that improving my physical strength and maintaining a healthy body significantly contributes to a stronger mental state. I've been consistently working out for some years now, and I want to keep that momentum alive. But this is not only about exercise; it's a commitment to surpassing my physical limits, choosing discipline over regret, and embracing a lifestyle that nurtures my body through mindful eating. It's a daily dedication to self-improvement, a promise to prioritize my health and well-being as an integral part of my life.
• Writing a New Chapter
In the next two years, my goal is to write another book. Breaking the Stigma: The Truth about BPD was well received, and now, I want to focus on writing about alleviating BPD symptoms and getting rid of the diagnosis. While some may doubt it to be possible, I stand as living proof. Having navigated the intricacies of BPD firsthand, I've written over 120+ articles on the subject and invested countless hours conversing with professionals. BPD manifests through nine major symptoms, requiring a minimum of five for diagnosis. I wholeheartedly believe that through the right understanding, building confidence and self-worth, the right mindset, and dedication, anyone can reduce these symptoms to a maximum of three, paving the way to remission. Similar to my own experience, where I displayed all nine symptoms for 16 years, and now, in the past year, I am experiencing none at all.
• Resilience Through Life's Fluctuations
While facing life's inevitable challenges, I stand resilient, acknowledging that suffering and hardships are intrinsic parts of the journey, with an understanding that everything comes and goes. I will embrace the ebb and flow of emotions, keep my chin up, and stand ready to tackle the hurdles presented to me in the best way possible. I consciously cultivate a mindset that welcomes challenges, knowing that each obstacle is an opportunity to become stronger and better.
• Proactive Approach to Tasks
Rather than putting off tasks until they inevitably take up mental space and let them compound with other responsibilities, I need to kick the procrastination habit. Stress often stems from neglecting action on things within our control.
• Staying true to myself and what I believe in
To stand firm on my own beliefs, boundaries, opinions, and interests, even if others don't agree with them. This involves consciously letting go of the need for external approval and caring less about others' opinions.
• Smile more
Incorporating more smiles into my life might sound easy, yet it poses a welcomed challenge, especially since my default facial expression tends to lean towards an angry look. But it will serve as a mirror reflecting the positive changes in my journey. As I persist in becoming a better person, genuine smiles will naturally emerge in the process, gradually becoming a brighter reflection of my life.
• To never stop believing in myself
I am the culmination of every version of myself that came before—each experience, lesson, and moment shaping the person I am today. I carry the weight of my past, yet I am not confined by it.
I am > I was
I saved myself and started to love myself. Now it's your turn.