Heartbreak From Having High Expectations with Borderline Personality Disorder
Updated: Mar 28, 2022
When people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) meet someone who could be a potential partner, they may become obsessed with them. The mind creates high expectations in which the person is idealized. Suddenly their whole world is about that individual, and they can't seem to live without them. This can have such an emotional impact that someone may lose the ability to function in their everyday life.
We can completely lose ourselves to our emotions, making us unable to enjoy the moment. In this article, we'll be looking at the obsession for love, the self-made illusion of having high expectations, and the idealization of a potential partner. Hoping to help individuals with BPD that can identify themselves with these experiences.
BPD creates unrealistic expectations
Setting ourselves up for heartbreak by having high expectations is a horrible experience. Sometimes one single day with a new individual can completely break us for the coming weeks. Why can't we enjoy the moment and appreciate the connection we had with someone? We're always looking for more and don't accept what's already given.
We spend so much time fighting for things we can't control. When we create expectations for the things we can't control, we are destroying the joy that can be felt for being in that moment.
''Expectations are the Killers of Joy.''
Even if you're aware of your own created illusion, the desire for love is too hard to withstand. You might get frustrated with yourself after telling yourself you shouldn't fully commit to it, but you still end up doing so.
BPD idealization on first meeting
With obsessive expectations, you can idealize someone you barely know and create a fake reality within your mind, which doesn't benefit you in any way. Right from the start, there should be no emotional attachment yet, but your mind already created it.
The individual can be far from your standards, but obsessive expectations will appear when the given emotion feels like an addiction.
How can someone with BPD manage high expectations?