How can someone with Borderline Recover after Losing Everything?

Updated: Mar 24

Is there an approach to recover yourself after losing everything you cared for in life? Losing your relationship, friends, family, money, and your job can be devastating. Sometimes, losing one individual or one dream can already break somebody's whole world into pieces, especially for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD). Is it possible for someone with BPD to start over after it appears that there is nothing left to live for?

What if life abruptly pivots, from a bright-looking future to something we wish never existed. This is for individuals who have nothing left, the ones who lost their last stand. How can someone with Borderline feel like living again? I hope to bring you some motivation with this article.


Hope for Borderline Personality Disorder

Maybe you've taken a beatdown concerning your finances, relationships, or in a different part of life. Everyone will get depressed at some point in their lives and there will be weeks when you don't feel like eating. For someone with Borderline, this can happen many times throughout life. It feels like there's no one there for you anymore and that there is no hope.


''It's like you have to save your own life again and again.''

We all struggle, and we all know what it feels like to be hurt. Whether it is in the hands of our enemy, nature, or time, you will get hurt. That's the way life is. There is always a choice to give up or get up.


What's most important is understanding that any form of beauty or creativity comes from sorrow and distress. There are no peaks without valleys. People with BPD feel emotions much more intensely and can use this in creative ways.


From my own experience, the most beautiful things came from the deepest, darkest prison within me. It's figuring out how to twist pain into something else, into something better.


Here is how one can come back after losing everything.


5 Steps on how someone with Borderline can start over


1. Stop feeling behind in life

It's hard to accept that you're at rock bottom, while others are in a decent to a good spot. Especially with social media these days. The stuff we post isn't the full story. It doesn't show self-doubt, fear, regret, and anxiety. Which we're all going through. Who wants to show the worst moments of their lives anyway? There is no need to compare your story with someone else's picture.


The feeling of being behind hurts, but which measuring stick are we even using? It's all living inside our minds and everyone's version is unique. Life can't be predicted or calculated. You will just be disappointed in yourself.


The feeling of being behind is based on a lack of self-love. You are not okay with the place you are right now at this point in life. There is no such thing as being behind in life. You're using a measuring stick on the success of others, which is arbitrary. It has no meaning translating into your own life. Remind yourself, even if you need it every day, that you are not behind in life.


2. Learn to let go

Just because you spend a long time making a mistake, doesn't mean you need to continue making it.


''If it wasn't for them I would have been happier.''

Most people get so caught up in blaming that they continue to blame and self-sabotage long after, for example, an individual is gone from their life. Because it's easier to blame yourself and others than to move on. The place where you're blaming will never be a happy place.


Take back the power they have when you're the one suffering long after they are gone. Who wins if you keep blaming and who wins if you decide to move on?


''If I didn't do this I would be at a better place.''

That time is gone. Lost money is not coming back in whatever direction you're going. The idea of sunk costs is realizing you're not indebted to the resources you've spent or exhausted. Acknowledge it was a step in your learning process and to your own growth.


Let go of the things you cant change and pursue the things you can. You have the key to your own jail cell. You need to learn how to utilize the key to be able to walk out.


3. The future is yours

We all know that life moves on without you. Time waits for no one. You're changing and your targets are shifting. The future looks uncertain and overwhelming.


Even when you've lost everything, you should not lose sight of the greatest gift there is. There is a new beginning that lives every second. You can take a turn you've never taken before. Remove the mask and play a role you've never played before.


Let the sense of excitement pull you into new things. Not where you feel obligated, pressured, or expected to be. Everywhere you don't want to be is just noise.


You don't have to make decisions on yesterday's story, but you should make it with tomorrow's opportunity.


''No plane has ever crashed from turbulence''

Life gets difficult, but we give in too soon to see our troubles come to an end. As long as you are alive, you are still in the game. Even when you've lost everything, you can build up new things from here. Don't be afraid to seek professional help when you need it. Treat yourself with the same regard as to how you would treat a friend.


4. Walk

At some point, everything is gonna go south on you. You can either give up or start walking. That's all you can do. Simply, start walking.


Science has demonstrated that moving lowers depression, reduces stress, and releases endorphins often called ''feel-good'' chemicals from your brain.


It's not about how long or how far you walk. Stop caring about everything else and try to find yourself. Go away and clear your head. You'll know when it's enough and when it's time to get back.


5. Change your way of thinking

No human on this planet is happy 100% of the time. Sooner or later, we will all lose our way. A few of us remain lost forever and some of us track down another path.


''The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it''

Whether you stay lost or find your way is a decision. That decision starts in your own mind. Your reality is not what has happened, but how you frame what has happened. Change your thoughts and you will change your life. Talk life into yourself and stay strong, we are in this together.


Read more on Why someone with BPD should not give up.